hmM,, so what's up??! with me,.. well school, basically,. ive got loads of homework,.. volleyball season just ended, so i have more time to do my hw,.. and i still have work,. its kinda hard to squeeze in time for fun, but i still make sure i do,. speaking of which, i had tons of fun at KATE'S PAR`TAYY! it was FANTABULOUS! then we went trick or treatin`!! oh, i met this one girl at the partay,. and she told me straight up, that she thought i was stuck up and snobby,. [but we ended up bein so cool after that].. that jsut made me think how much people have thought of me that way already,. maybe its cuz i always get lost in my thoughts in my head, and i end up lookin  unhappy,. thats why lately, ive been tryin to cheer up more and BE happy,. its great, actually,. i realized that life should be fun! its natural to have worries, but its important also to move on,..

,..but then sometimes, you just cant help but sulk,..mayn, i dont know what my problem is,.. why am i being like this??    

                      :+: THERE ARE SO MANY OPPOSiTiONS AGAiNST YOU,. YET i STiLL LiNGER ON,. i CANT MOVE OUT OF THiS POSiTiON,. BUT iT HURTS TO STAY,. iM TOO SCARED TO GO DEEPER,. BUT i DONT WANT TO LET GO,. i HATE BEiN iN BETWEEN,.i CANT TAKE  iT ANYMORE,.:+:

,.i was tryin to forget that feeling,. but then, someone kept on trying to wake me up to realize what a fool ive been,.. ive known this a  long time ago, but i ignored it,. i guess im just scared to love again,.i dont wanna feel the warmth of comfort and love again,. i dont wanna confide to someone so special and tell him everything,. i dont wanna give him my everything,. i dont wanna love him with all my heart again,. because as good as it seemed it was, it turned out horribly bad,. thats why i dont wanna move further with this new person,. i didnt wanna let go either,.... but,... it might be the right thing to do,.. i dont know.. there has been so many signs,. so many warnings that told me to do that a long time ago,. but i trusted HIM,.. but now,, i acutally see those signs coming from himself,.. i guess ill jsut see in time,.

,. even though no one really has an  idea what the heck i was talking about,, i jsut needed to write out whats been bothering me,. it doesnt matter anyways, cuz no one will prolly see this,. well aight thats it for now

:+: just a thought..:+:

how do you know if that ''special someone'' is THE ONE? how do you know that it would be worth it to open your heart and soul to him? how do you know that it would be worth all the pain and tears you'll end up crying?? .. i guess youll just never know,.. only time and actual experience can lead you to an answer.,.it would be nice if you opened up your heart to the right person, shared your thoughts and time with him,. but that's not always the case. more than often,, we end up with the wrong one.  whats sad is,, your heart is like an egg at a store.  he'll try to capture you with his charms, persuade you, until he finally buys you off with your sweet yes.,. so0n enough, he's handling you with so much care, puts you in a special container in his heart, wraps you with soft, tender lovin`, drives you home with extra caution, and safely places you in his fridege,... THENNN when the next morning comes, and stomach feels empty,, he'll take the same egg he's cared for, and CRACKS it with one smooth motion,.. here you are,, so broken and torn because the one person who once showed you such great affection, has now DROPPED you, HURT you,. and here you are thinking,. WHY? why did he hurt me? why did he leave me?,.. WHY DID HE LOVE ME??,.. it hurts ,. i know,. but you'll move on,. the pain will gradually disappear in time,.they say THE NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER,. maybe yes, because by then, youll be wiser, but that doesnt stop the possibility of being dropped again,. i know, cuz it has happened to me more times than one,..HOW CAN SOMEONE LOVE/WANT/LIKE YOU SO MUCH, YET CAN LET GO SO EASILY??

well, well,.. it's been more than a month,.. so0 hmM,. wats been goin on with me,.. im just busy over the summer,.. maynnn were goin back to school in 2 dayss!!!! grrrr!! goshdarnitt!well,.. here comes a new year again,.. its time to start fresh. ive been through alot this past year. so many experiences have changed me and molded me into the kind of person i am today. but there were also alot of unneccessary bagagges and stress that i encountered. but from all those, i learned a lot. i learned my strenghts, weaknesses, my mistakes. and i learned that its time make changes, to make life better. theres always room for improvement. no one's perfect. so with this upcoming school year, im going to try my best to fix my life by using my head more and dealing my problems by doing the right thing. last year, before school started, i made a promise that i really wanted to keep, and i did. and this year, i hope i'll be able to keep my promise to myself also.

i hope everyone will have a go0d school year!! enjoy the homework! hehe,..

,..SOMETiMES i DONT EVEN KNOW WHO i AM,.. i DO OR SAY STUFF, BUT i DONT KNOW WHY,.. MANY TiMES i DONT UNDERSTAND MY ACTiONS OR WAHT LEAD ME TO DO THEM..THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT THiNGS iN LiFE THAT WE TAKE FOR GRANTED,. YOU DONT REALiZE HOW TRULY LUCKY EN BLESSED YOU ARE UNTiL YOUVE HiT A PROBLEM. THEN WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, ITS MOSTLY BECAUSE SOMEONE HURT YOUR FEELiNGS, BUT SOMETiMES, YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPPT IT AND SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE,.. CUZ YYOU MiGHT NEVER WiN THE BATTLE ANYWAY,. JUST LET IT GO,.. SAY SORRY,.. IT CAN BE HARD TO SAY, BUT WE`RE ALL EQUAL,. NO ONE RISES ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY OVER ANOTHER,...

wow its been a really long time... anyho0,. ive got nothin else to do at this moment in time, so why not blogm right?well,.. here goes mah thoughts,..

people are so complex, so complicated. you cant just put a label on one person. one does not have jsut one side to him/her, we`re all mutli-dimensional, we`re dynamic. that`s why it could be hard to understand where someone came from,.. waht their point of view is,.. what their stand on life is,.. where they`re headed,.. where they wanna go,.. who they love,. and why..and alongside to that, comes feelings,. complex feelings,.. you get so caught up,.. so mezmerized,. so grateful and blessed,.. you think ``how could i have been so lucky``.. but ,.. will it last? or will it fade out in time?,. i realized that people desire for the things they want,. but only few strive  for it,. some work hard for it, some wait patiently, and once the goal is accomplished,. it feels like you just caught a falling star,. you've got something youve never thought you'd ever have,.. you treasure it as if you never wanna let go,.. but as everyone knows,, stars fade out too,. the light doesnt burn as bright anymore,. and i realized that people tend to neglect what they used to care for so much before,.. nothing lasts forever,.. but i`ll be here,. though i don`t understand what`s really going on right now, i know ther`s something,. but no matter what, i`ll always be here,..

enough about that,.. well lately,, my life has been going raelly well,.. ive been so blessed and im so thankful. the month of june has been go0d to me,.first off:

* i got an interview with marine world - and got hired! so i have my first job,.  *then i got my drivers permit!!! yay!!!                                                           * thennnn jolibee called en i got an interview,. then i got hired there - so i have two jobs!! yeapz,.   thats why ive been busy this summmer, thats better than stayin at home doin nothin,..  

yeahp, lifes been go0d so far,. i hope it doesnt ask for anything in return,. i mean i hope nothing big thats bad will happen,..  by the way, if you get the chance, watch The Notebook,. its hecka nice!!!!! ish so sad,..

well,. iM ouT LiKE *pOoF!*

muCh LuV!,. >>tRiSh`uHh!